High Heels and Handbags

Until this particular role I had never been in HR. To be in the heart of HR was a new and disconcerting experience. Every department has its own culture, i.e. norms of behaviour. But I felt like I had been transported back to the 1960's. Let me explain.

Having been recruited to provide a "capability uplift" in other words to design, develop and deliver an enterprise curriculum I moved to a new role in HR.

However I stuck out like a sore thumb. Firstly I carried folders into meetings and took notes. This was frowned upon by my new colleagues. Their expectation was that you did not take away any actions from meetings. As a senior HR person I was expected to engage and influence but not to actually produce anything. That was other peoples' jobs. Yet my dilemma was that I was still leading the curriculum build as the education subject matter expert and my internal customers expected me to lead and produce this large piece of work. I continued to take actions away from management meetings.

Shall we look at the EQ aspects of my dilemma? The concepts of social and emotional literacy is most pertinent:

"You could say that social and emotional literacy is the heroic journey from the amygdala to the frontal lobe. A very short distance when measured in terms of the physical brain but a life-long journey in terms of developing impulse control, building respectful relationships, developing our principles and values, and reaching our full potential as human beings — emotionally, socially and spiritually." https://innovativeresources.org/what-is-social-emotional-literacy

Emotional literacy implies a certain level of skill in ‘reading’ emotions—recognising and interpreting our own feelings. It also implies learning about the rhythms of emotions and navigating the challenges of your own emotions whilst being-able to manage the powerful pull of what we want and don’t want, and negotiating with others as we bump up against their needs and wants.

My colleagues were hard working dedicated people. I respected their work ethic and engagement skills. Unfortunately, however I really bumped up against my HR colleagues' expectations. One of my key downfalls was that I did not carry around an expensive designer handbag over my wrist and wear high heel shoes. Not kidding! I was the mother of 3 older children and therefore did not have the time nor the means to travel overseas regularly to purchase either.

Then the feedback started. I needed to engage more with my HR colleagues. If I am unkind I would describe this as "to fluff about". To meet and engage with the right influential people. This is an important part of strategic HR work don't get me wrong However my work had involved navigating new career frontiers to varying degrees of success. And seldom choosing the easy path. My path was to embed a reinvigorated appreciation of the value of operations management and continuous improvement and deliver a capability uplift.

After all I was an inaugural member of the 1970's Feminist lawyers group at Monash University. We fought for important human rights like equal career rights for women law graduates and having more than 2 toilets in the Law Faculty available for women law students. I also used to wear leathers and ride my 600 BMW motorbike to uni so I was never a fan of high heels.

Just a few highlights of what happened in the next 20 years will suffice - running the first unfair dismissal case when I worked my guts out for a labour law firm (the alternative establishment). 3 children under 2 at the Bar. Being"Jeffed" at the ripe old age of 33. Driving to a tyre factory at midnight to do frontline management assessments. Delivering a national management development business for employees of big banks and car manufacturers and conducting 1000 assessments. Completing the first PhD on Continuing Legal Education in Australia with a focus on making professional work-based learning more supported. And encountering disinterest from the legal profession and legal educators. Which is how in a circuitous way I ended up building an enterprise curriculum instead.

The High Heels Experiment

Back to HR. I respected my HR colleagues for their EQ and wanted to fit in professionally and socially with them. However after six months effort I suspected that I would never fit into this Leadership Team and be respected for who I was and what I was required to deliver for the organisation. A change agent is often an outlier.

I decided to have some fun, reframe my dilemma and make sense of it by testing my hypothesis (women must dress for success in a 1960's timewarp). I decided to undertake a real life experiment. To thrive rather than survive!

I dressed up. Pencil skirt above the knee, highish heeled shoes and an op shop handbag dangling over my wrist. I attended as many meetings as possible without taking anything into them, not even a pen.

After a week the real me could no longer be contained. I burst out of my dress up garb, discarded my handbag and shoes and reverted to my own style.

Not before, at my weekly catch up with my supervisor, I received the most favourable feedback for the year. That I had received very positive feedback during the week from my HR colleagues and others that I was performing so much better in my role, contributing in meetings and making progress in engaging meaningfully.

I did not fit. Enough said.

Dr Deb

31 August 21